Craig & Dave's Story
Craig and his husband Dave have been foster carers for almost 3 years. In that time they have fostered one child who has lived with them for the duration of their time as foster carers. Having worked in a youth hostel, Craig always knew that working with young people in need would be a big part of his life. Craig explains that their decision to become foster carers was an easy one: “being married and having a spare room, the topic of children inevitably came up, we thought about our options and fostering just seemed ideal. We could provide a family environment and also try to make a difference, not just for ourselves, but for children and their birth families”.
“Being gay, we just assumed our options were either to adopt or look into surrogacy”.
Craig goes on to explain that “being gay, we just assumed our options were either to adopt or look into surrogacy. But we’d both grown up in some rough areas and saw for ourselves that there are kids out there that need better homes. Rather than adding more kids to the world, and ignoring those in need, we decided that it would be more useful to help others. Fostering would bring the energy into our home we were looking for whilst also helping a child/children and their families”.
Craig and Dave have received nothing but praise and support from friends and family over their decision to foster. They also found that RMBC were “very supportive” with their application: “We’ve been treated exactly the same as anyone else. Everyone was supportive. The overall thoughts were that we were doing the right thing and that we would be ideal as carers. Applying was easy, we just made ourselves available for regular chats and visits. The induction process was easy too. We met other carers, did some training and learned about the teams that would be supporting us throughout the process”.
“We’ve been treated exactly the same as anyone else. Everyone was supportive. The overall thoughts were that we were doing the right thing and that we would be ideal as carers”.
Craig explains that: “we were initially approved for short term fostering, but when our placement’s status changed to permanent, the fit was so perfect we went ahead and changed our approval to keep him with us. It was daunting at first, it’s a huge responsibility, but when you see what a difference you’re actually making, it just becomes easy”. Craig goes on to explain that their foster son also isn’t phased by the fact that his foster parents are gay: “We asked him how he feels about it, and he said it ‘doesn’t matter’”.
When asked if he ever had any concerns that his sexuality might impact his eligibility to foster, Craig replied: “We never had any reservations from the social work side of things, we always knew it wouldn’t be an issue in this day and age. The only thing we thought about was how a child and their family might feel about them being looked after by two gay men. But, it hasn’t been an issue at all”. Craig goes on to explain that the local community as a whole have been incredibly supportive of their decision to foster: “we even take our foster child to our church and they think it’s wonderful!” Craig and Dave firmly believe that their foster son has benefited from having same-sex foster parents: “He’s seen that every person and family is different and that’s something to be celebrated”.
“He’s seen that every person and family is different and that’s something to be celebrated”.
We asked Craig and Dave what the 3 best things about fostering are and they replied:
Having an excuse to go to Smyths.
Sharing adventures together.
Seeing us all evolve as individuals and as a family in ways we never would have imagined.
Finally, Craig and Dave’s advice for any would-be LGBT foster parents: “Just do it. Don’t think about the obstacles, because there aren’t any. Just think about the good you could be already doing”.